By Stacey Dexter
As I have aged, my relationship with animals has greatly evolved. What I was taught in the 1960-70’s about caring for a pet could be balanced on the ear of a hummingbird. Dogs and cats were our possessions, not the feeling, sentient beings that we now (I hope!) know them to be. How arrogant (and ignorant) were we? Food, water, shelter. That’s all they needed, right?
Back then, there weren’t any protective leash laws, so dogs were out all day long and sometimes all night. As a child, I had no idea how dangerous and irresponsible this was for our animals.
I personally liked the dogs running loose, as I could love them to my heart’s content. If my current dog was out all night and I didn’t know where he was, I think I would have a stroke. Between the wild animals of the Southwest and his 13-pound physique, he’d probably not last a day.
Unfortunately, it seems like in the old days pets were rather dispensable: If they were hit by a car, it was considered part of the deal. Cry some, get another. If they ran away or went missing? Oh well, get another.
There was a lack of empathy for some of the most vulnerable among us. There weren’t dog walkers, doggy daycare, special diets, GPS devices, or microchips like there are today.
Dogs also slept on the floor. They were absolutely not to be on the bed. I don’t ever remember blankets and definitely not doggie beds. They were fed the horrible Alpo and sometimes fat, bones, and scraps from the carcass of a turkey, chicken, or beef marrow. They were left at home for hours at a time with no nanny cams watching over them.
Walk them? Hilarious! They could walk themselves and no one, I mean no one, picked up poop. It was everywhere and we just accepted it!
What I most remember being taught was that our animals needed firm discipline. This was demonstrated more than taught, not only by family, but by everyone else, too. If they misbehaved, (i.e., jumping on furniture, peeing in the house, barking too much), they would get a slap on the nose and, if especially disobedient, a whack on the butt.
This was usually followed by loud yelling while pointing a finger into their face. Shame was a tactic that was used over and over. Dogs feel shame!
It was normal to dole out these forms of punishments. Humans assumed that since they were only dogs, the communication best understood by them was in its lowest form: violence. This may sound harsh, but that was how dogs and other pets were treated back then.
When I adopted my first dog as an adult, I carried with me the same archaic methods of discipline. It is not easy to admit (in fact, it’s painful).
The first time it dawned on me that these kinds of punishments were wrong was when my then six-year-old daughter watched me use fear with a puppy we had rescued. She started to cry as I was yelling at it while swatting its butt. The stricken look on her face made me feel so ashamed. What was I doing?
Today, I don’t own my pet. I am their guardian. The Hawaiian people say that they are their pets’ Kahu, meaning that we are the guardians entrusted with the care of something precious, of a life to be cherished. Isn’t that just so lovely?
I speak to my pets, sing to them, tease them, and laugh with them. They are too important to ignore.
My dog Woody receives this newfound insight I have gained about pet guardianship. He is my buddy and companion. He receives regular veterinary care, preventative medicine, and daily walks. He has doggie friends, special food for his kidneys, medicine for his cardiac issues, and yummy treats (which may include a little chicken).
He has at least five beds, and last year I bought him a little sofa (it’s literally child-sized), so he could be off the floor for the winter months. It’s so cute and he loves it.
I do not yell, admonish, or hit him. I despise people who treat their pets this way and I am vocal about it. It is unnecessary to abuse an animal in any way. We know better!
Animals have feelings and should be respected and loved. Humans that still use aggression and fear with any pet should not own one. Period.
Most of us love our pets more than we like humans, so why wouldn’t we treat them like gold? I for one, am so glad that times have changed. Aren’t you?
