Dad sat with me on the corner of the bed; heavy spring rain and far-flung echoes of thunder made a late-morning nap inevitable. Dad sitting with me at that moment wasn’t really part of my plan. The conversation that followed (read orders of the day) was the last thing I wanted to hear or deal with.
“Mom reminded me your column was due uh…a few days ago, and there’s a slight, tiny, infinitesimal, mostly very small and easily correctable problem that we can put our heads together and muddle through. No sweat.”
I knew, not only in my canine brain but all the way down to the marrow in my bones, that whatever Dad was trying to tell me would end up pointing a paw at Hazel. I had to clamp my jaws just a little tighter not to blurt out, “What did Hazel do now?!” I knew if I interrupted Dad during his attempt to remember everything Mom had told him, I’d lose valuable nap time.
“So it seems…” Dad continued, looking away towards the doorway. “A small editing kind of glitch happened which will kind of frame how you might want to do your column.”
“Explain…glitch.” I gave up on my curled position and pushed all four limbs straight out for a good long strong stretch. Dad just happened to be lined up with my hind quarters and got a good shove.
“Well…uh…Hazel forgot to delete the last sentence in the column she wrote for you when you took time off.” Dad was still looking at the doorway. “She ended her story with…uh, “To be continued” or something kind of close to that.”
I sighed a long, deep sigh and tried to imagine what it would be like if Hazel wore a dress shirt with a tie and somehow I magically possessed opposable thumbs and could grab her by the shirt collar and shake her like in the movies. I thought it would somehow be cathartic…until Mom would hear us and shout a “Decease and quit!” command with her “Don’t push it, kidz” tone of voice.
Abandoning my cinematic imaginings, I jumped off the bed to go and find Hazel, leaving Dad trying to think of “That other thing” Mom had told him to tell me.
Act One: A Mild Interrogation
Me: What was your story in the Flagstaff Mag about, Haze?
Hazel: It would hurt my feelings Tuck, if I thought you didn’t read my columns on a regular basis.
Me: Do you know, my dearest pack sister, how hard it is to write my columns when you take all the best stories from our lives together? That’s why I haven’t written about Pru, her arrival, her behavior, her antics. If I tell you what I’m thinking of writing about, you always say that’s what you’re working on. Now, can you just tell me what you wrote about?
Hazel: I think I might have missed the part on whether you read my columns.
Me: Could you just tell me what you wrote about, and we’ll discuss my reading habits later?
Hazel: Tucker…you know I don’t mull over past columns after they go to print. I’m a forward looking kind of writer.
Me: I’m forward-looking too, Hazel, and right now I’m looking forward to sauntering over to Mom’s office and asking her how Hazel is getting along with editing and compiling the second volume of her book series that you were suppose to start before the holiday season.
Act Two: A Quick Confession
Hazel: IT WAS ABOUT PRU AND WE WERE ALL ASLEEP IN THE LIVING ROOM AND I HEARD THE SOUND OF LEASH AND COLLAR… PRU WAS IN THE BACKYARD WITH MOM AND DAD… HER FIRST DAY HERE AND—
Me: Calm down Haze, I was there too. Ok, so….
Hazel: Don’t bring up the book, okay,Tuck?
Me: Ok. As I was about to say, what did you have in mind when you wrote “To be continued”?
Hazel: What about the book Tuck? What about Mom and all that.
Me: Just help me get this straightened out, and I will develop amnesia where your volume two is concerned.
Hazel: Is that a yes, you won’t tell, or a no, you won’t tell?
Me: It’s both, I won’t tell. Now about the continuing story—
Hazel: Oh that’s easy. Remember we were on the bed going over all the nicknames for Pru, and which one was her real name, and you thought something was bothering me other than her names? And then Pru and Keira were outside with Mom, and then…
Me: Got it! Just one more question Haze. Why did you put “To be continued” when you knew I was going to write the next one?
Hazel: Well, as I’m the more experienced writer with a large following, I thought it would help.
Me: It didn’t.
Hazel: Dad said you wouldn’t be happy about it. He told me to delete it.
Me: Yet, you chose to carry on?
Hazel: Well, Mom saw it and didn’t say anything, so….
Me: Water over the bridge now. I guess I’ll paddle off and get my story together.
Hazel: You know Tuck, if you read my columns more often these misunderstandings wouldn’t occur.
Act Three: Enter New Character
Hey everyone, Tucker here to say it was great to take some time off, but better yet to be back at home and writing to you. So I want to start off this column on this beautiful sunlit spring day introducing you to our most recent addition to our pack family (see photo below).
(aka Prudential, Zaa-Pruder, Pruise Missle, Pru-desance, Pru-Do, Pru-Bear, Pru-Don’t!, Pru-assic Park, Corporal Pepper, Tyrannosaurus-P, P-Rex, Tenacious-P, Tazmanian Pru)
If curiosity is your hobby, check out my Hazel’s and my musings on Pru’s names at The Prescott Dog on page 6 here: https://tinyurl.com/34t3fztt
~ Tucker Oso ~
